It is that time of the year, friends, peak holiday period in the northern hemisphere, and it is painfully clear that we need a collective update course on the commercial air travel label.
For those who fly a lot, the amount of careless of the careless people who inhabit our shared space is shocking. In fact, the true long covide can be incurable behavior.
Now, I recognize that flying can be stressful and even weird, but we play with the same set of rules so that we can reach our destinations without descending to ugly fights (I am looking at you in Air Asia) or then discovering that we have contracted a contagious eruption of the skin (later).
Here are my rules and rules to be a decent human being at 30,000 feet:
No ‘gentle parenting’
There is nothing worse than a child kicking his seat on a flight. Wait, I take it back. There is nothing worse than lazy and passive parents, with their fat faces on iPads, pushing piddos of pretzels of peanut butter in their yapperios, while their small stirred tyrants kick their seat as if they were in flames.
More than once (or a dozen times) I have become so exasperated by a little boy in Jackhammering that I turn around, first with a severe look, then with an allegation: ‘Can you ask your son to stop kicking my seat?’
I recognize that flying can be stressful and even rare, but we play with the same set of rules so that we can reach our destinations without descending to ugly fights (I am looking at you Air Asia, in the photo above).
There is nothing worse than a child kicking his seat on a flight. Wait, I take it back. There is nothing worse than lazy and passive parents.
In general, mom and dad are legitimately horrified and do everything possible to put their son online. But the worst parents, also known as the gentle parents, cannot be bothered.
If they say something to his engendro of the devil, he is usually a lukewarm, such as: ‘Asher, does he use his soft feet? Ok, friend?
No, Asher, no!
If you, as a father, will not do your job, and I am caught in front of your offender-Banger, I will take control of the situation and discipline your son for you.
Of course, I would never put a finger to the careless hedgehog, but if he does not raise his voice and solve the problem, I will.
Wait your turn
There is a new Dimwit airline brand that invade these days: the louse in the hall. And I have had my right part of clashes with these CRETIS.
Earlier this month, Tiktok made a particularly aggressive woman infamous after she went to the front line of her plane when landing.
Hr Shovavinsuf was properly punished by other passengers with a boy who intervened: «Wait for people in front of you to get off, this is how we do.»
This miserable monster retreated: «Close his mouth!» And he added ‘Shut up the shit!’ to the other angry flyers who protested their corridor bombardment.
Now, it would be one thing if you need to unite quickly to make a connection flight. In that case, please conscious to the flight attendant and its passengers must be separated as the Red Sea. But otherwise, wait for your turn!
Earlier this month, Tiktok made a particularly aggressive woman infamous after she went to the front line of her plane when landing (in the photo above).
More than once (or a dozen times) I have become so exasperated by a little boy in Jackhammering that I turn around, first with a severe look, then with an allegation: ‘Can you ask your son to stop kicking my seat?’
Do not mix anxiety and alcohol
I understand, you need an ativan to fly so that they do not hyperventile when taking off, that is understandable.
But remember: 90 percent of people who are scared in airplanes and become shameful memes are the rookies who washed their nerve pills with some Bloody Mary’s.
It is not certain that he led to a bust in the air on an Air Asia plane earlier this month when a woman attacked a man, who tried to lock her in silence so she could sleep. But I am sure that alcohol would not have helped.
Resist the impulse to mix; It never ends well. Alcohol and pills are the most toxic cocktail and a recipe for a federal arrest record and a prohibition for the airline’s life.
Instead, download a meditation application and eat something healthy to feel established before reaching a mother’s little assistant.
No shoes, without service
I realize that, since the pandemic, many people with problems have returned to a wild state, but for the sake of God, they wear shoes when you enter a bathroom soaked in urine.
When I see that people enter a bathroom in socks, or worse breakdown, it makes me absolutely miserable. Seriously, have you never taken biology from the seventh grade? How can you know your little pigs in the Pee -pee of other people when there is an easy solution?
It is not certain that he led to a bust in the air on an Air Asia plane earlier this month when a woman attacked a man, who tried to lock her in silence so she could sleep. But I am sure that alcohol would not have helped.
A friend of mine recently caught scabies on a flight, and it is because people are so surprisingly inflexible because of their dirt that microbes spread to other innocent flyers such as Jehovah’s Witness Panflets.
Take a shower and practice a little basic hygiene, circus fans.
Too bad the medium seat
The next is controversial, but it is critical.
The window and hall seats are inherently advantage, so the only sweet reward for poor Middleton, who is surveyed among you two stinky bombs, is the luxury of resting both arms.
One should not have to ask for it. The basic decency dictates it. I am sure that many will not agree with me, but they are wrong, and they probably go to hell.
Use Scrunchies
There are too many documented cases of foreign women and long hair (and some men) floating their long strands on their seats, blocking the screens and grazing the tables of the tray of horrified people behind them.
It’s disgusting. If a selfish Rapunzel tried that with me, it would fish for a tomato sauce package and soak their ends on them. Surprise! You are now a redhead!
Simply place your hair in a messy scrunchie knot like the rest of us, or go to supercuts.
It’s disgusting. If a selfish Rapunzel tried that with me, it would fish for a tomato sauce package and soak their ends on them. Surprise! You are now a redhead!
There are no free updates
Finally, if you are too vague to look at a seat map when booking your flight, I am not obliged to give up my hallway so that your beautiful Lillian can sit next to your side.
Did you ruin and placed your child in the emergency exit row? Hard tetons!
It is, of course, something kind and friendly to accommodate families, but there is no rule, tacit or otherwise, which says I should leave it.
This regulation applies double when asked to a traveler to reduce a window to the hall, perhaps.
I have flown with my children since they were babies and sometimes things go wrong on the planes. From tantrums to Barf, we have all treated it, but those problems are yours, not those of their seat partner.
Professional advice: If a chivalrous steering wheel changes seats, be it a friend and buy that poor sap a drink of your choice. A little drink is very useful to say ‘thanks’.
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